Jamaica Bound

Tomorrow morning, 4:10am we leave the Lord of Life parking lot for the airport and then on to Montego Bay for Mission Jamaica.

I'll be "unplugged" through April 1.

During that time we'll be doing direct care of children at Westhaven Children's Home in the community of Copse, about 45 minutes up into the mountains of Jamaica.

This is always a powerful experience. It's something I look forward to every year. The children are amazing, the work is amazing...

Please keep us in your prayers as we travel. And pray for the children there.

Confession

I got a great question from someone. I pulled their name and posted the question and my reply.

Q: Pastor Todd,

The reason I am emailing you is because I have a concern with the way Iconfess my sins. I hate to be legalistic, but here is my concern: I see more and more how important it is to fall at the knees of God and confessmy sins. I am quite loyal at admitting that I am a sinner and have fallenshort of the glory of God and ask for His forgiveness. I worship anddwell in His grace.

However, I find it hard to recall the sins that Ihave committed. At the end of the day, I am not real sure what I didwrong. I feel I would grow closer to God by understanding better where itis that I fall short. Then, I could have more directed prayer for myweaknesses.

So, I end up just asking for forgiveness in a very general way. I understand that God desires a pure heart, and I come to Him with a sincere heart asking for forgiveness and I feel that brings Him joy. Again though, it just seems more real to come humbly when I admit my actual sins.I know this is kind of a big topic, but any thoughts you have would be appreciated.

Thank you,
<><,

Reply: Thanks for your note. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. You ask a great question and I wanted to take some time to think, do a little reading and pray before I responded.

I appreciate your concern about confession. If that is an essential part of our relationship with God, and I, like you, do believe it is, then we want to be as genuine, real and complete as we possibly can be. And our concern over that isn’t necessarily the same as “legalism”, but rather a genuine desire to have an honest relationship with Christ. I admire you in your desire to have that.

At the same time, I don’t think you need to concern yourself too much if you are able to have a “complete” laundry list of our sins. Frankly, if we take seriously Luther’s admonition that all sin is the same, and that even our “thinking” about committing sin, then frankly there is no way that any of us can accurately catalog our sinful thoughts and actions.

Beyond that, however, I sometimes think of sin and confession in a different, perhaps more wholistic way: Sin is our actions that break the wishes and commandments of God. But sin is also a condition, a state of being that we are all born into. Because of sin and our sinfulness, we live in a broken relationship with God that ONLY Christ can restore through His actions, and not because we deserve it. (I know that you know this, I’m just formulating my thoughts…sorry…)

When we confess, I think it’s good to confess the things that we have done, and I think it’s ok to move into the “general” when we can’t remember what we’ve done because God remembers.

But I think even more importantly is for us to confess the broken relationship we feel. That broken relationship, which our sinfulness causes, is the root of our human condition and the cause for the “sins” (actions) that we all do. That expression is more about the root of our relationship with God than the individual actions that we do that are “sins.”

Am I making sense in the distinction?

Basically what I’m trying to say is that we confess both:
A) The sins we commit that we remember and those that we don’t and cannot remember.
B) Our sinful nature that causes us to want to be “in charge”, to literally be God of our own lives, and which causes us to do the sins that further break the relationship.

We live in a “chicken and egg” scenario. We sin because we are sinful. We are sinful because we sin. You’re absolutely right that God desires a “pure heart”, but it is only Christ that can make that heart pure. Only Christ can break the cycle, and our confession is less about a what we did and more about admitting our role in the cycle, our dependence on Christ and for Christ to reach through the cycle to us. After all, in Psalm 51:10 the writer confesses “Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” This confession is about the heart, not about our sinful activities.

So you are right…direct your prayer, but my advice would be to direct it towards a whole relationship, not just a longer and better list of your sins.

Ok, now I’m starting to ramble. I have no idea if this makes any sense. I would be happy to discuss this further with you by e-mail or “live” if it would be helpful. Thanks for your question though. It was good to think about. I’ll on Mission Jamaica tomorrow through April 1 so won’t be available to reply until I get back.

Take care!

Peace,

Pastor Todd.

Now Reading

Now Reading:

Velvet Elvis
by Rob Bell

Prayers for the Journey

( Photo is of Gov. Pawlenty seeing the Minnesota troops off...)

I have a nephew (actually, a nephew-in-law) who is departing today with the Minnesota National Guard for Iraq.

I am not happy about this.

• Why is it that the whole situation seems more out of control now than it did after "victory" was declared?
• Why is it that the pace of killing and destruction appears to be in the increase, rather than the decrease?
• Why is it that more men and women are being sent there, instead of less?
• Why are people still invoking 9/11 with regard to Iraq when clearly there is (or at least was) no direct connection?

This has seemed like a distant war. This has seemed like things that happen to someone else.

My nephew-in-law is named Jeff. He is probably 23 years old. He is not distant. He is family.

Please keep him in your prayers.

Todd.

A white day

There is snow today in Minneapolis. Significant snow. Not necessarily the all-encompassing, armageddon-like snow dumping that the weather people were predicting, but we haven't had one of those since the Halloween blizzard 15 or 16 years ago...

But it's the kind of day where you get up and a part of you hopes for the clean, crispness of a "snow day". No school. No work. No travel. You hunker down inside with the occasional foray outside to play in the snow.

No such luck. I'm at work and am at my desk, looking at the snow falling outside.

Questioning Authority

I just came across an online CNN report that Sen. Russ Fiengold from Wisconsin is going to introduce a resolution to censure President Bush for intentionally breaking the law in his wiretapping without a warrant.

Now I've generally stayed pretty publically low-key about what is going on in politics, the war, and these other controversies. I have my opinions, but I' m not sure that in my role, being too vocal about them would limit my ability to do work and ministry with those who have different opinions. So I really don't want anyone to think that my particular opinion on this topic is an endorsement of a particular candidate, party, philosophy or anything. However...

The critics of Sen. Fiengold claim that by filing a motion for censure, we are "sending the wrong message" around the world. They claim that it undercuts the work and mission of the troops stationed in harm's way.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Our country was formed based on skepticism of those in authority. We have not only a right, but a duty to wonder, to question and when necessary, to challenge.

Raising these questions does not undercut our troops. Rather, it is exactly why they are overseas: To protect the fundamental rights of people to disagree with their leaders.

I admit to a healthy skepticism about the military presence and the violence in Iraq. But we created this mess, and now it needs to be cleaned up. As my Mother taught me, "clean up your own messes."

But it seems to me that we went into this military action under false pretenses, that the work we have done, while much has been good (and don't get me started about these people who complain that the 'good stories don't get told...yes, we know that schools have been built...the problem isn't about the good, the problems quite simply lay with the bad.), hasn't seemed to solve anything.

But people of good conscience should continue to doubt and to question. And those who are politically on the other side of the table shouldn't work to indict the critics based on whether or not they should speak. That's what you do when your arguments don't hold water.

Unlimited Warranty

“Unlimited Warranty”
Mark 8:31-38
Todd Buegler
March 8, 2006
Lord of Life


Grace and peace to you from God our Creator, and from our Lord and Savior, Jesus, who is the Christ. Amen.

Every day when I leave the house, Nathan and Samuel run up to me with their arms up in the air. “Daddy, pick me up!” Hugs. Kisses, and I go. Often times, however, I’ll discover hours later, and usually after some public meeting, the remains of the boys breakfast embedded on my shoulder…right about here. The highlight of these experiences was when I went to my final approval interview with the Bishop’s Office for ordination last May. After the meeting with the committee of seven, I discovered an almost perfect rendering of Samuel’s face, made up of “Go-gurt”, had been smiling out at the approval committee. To be honest, I think it might have scored points with the committee.

But when a young child comes up to you and throw their arms into the air, it is difficult to resist. The arms up, and the phrase “Daddy!” is a sign of their love, and their complete dependence on you. Children depend on their parents completely. For food, for clothing, for safety, for love, for acceptance, for boundaries, for someone to wrestle with, for someone to watch Saturday morning cartoons with… As parents, it is our job to provide for those who depend on us. Sociologists have said that childhood and adolescence is the process of a young person moving from total dependence, to independence, as they move into adulthood.

Our faith development is somewhat different, however. We do not move from dependence to independence. As we grow in our faith, we move from independence to dependence on God.

In our Gospel tonight, Jesus gives us a description of our relationship with God. Jesus says, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to gain their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. (Mark 8:34-35)

This seems pretty counter intuitive; it goes against our natural instincts. To “gain life” we must “lose it?” Those who “lose our lives will gain it?” Our natural inclination is to say the opposite of Jesus. Our society teaches that our lives are our own. We are independent people who make our own choices, set out on our own paths, and create our own destiny.

In a culture where independence, self-reliance and the ability to “lift oneself up by your own bootstraps” is valued, the idea of losing one’s life, or of “dying to oneself” is foreign. One of our adult small group leaders on our recent sr. high ski retreat told me of a conversation in her group. One young person said that “God is just for those who need God. If things are going pretty well, and if nothing is wrong, you don’t need God.” Wow. This is a brutally honest representation of how many people feel, and of what our culture teaches. “We are self reliant, and when something goes wrong, we can turn to God like some kind of cosmic vending machine.”

Jesus also uses the phrase in our scripture text that we must “deny ourselves and take up the cross, following Him.” What does it mean to deny ourselves? While some might argue that it means to put God and others ahead of ourselves, I believe that it means simply to recognize that God is already ahead of us. God is God and we are not, and the root of human sin is to deny this truth. The fact is, we are not in charge. God is in charge, and we are totally dependent on God. This is a difficult thing for us to swallow. A universal truth is that we want to be in charge of our own lives. We don’t want to acknowledge our dependence on anyone, or anything.

There are several different things that may cause us to deny our dependence on God. For some of us, the urge to feel in control lies in our own self-centeredness. We are simply the most important person in our own lives, and our goal is to satisfy our own wants. For others, the root of our control issue lies in being judgmental. We are so insecure in ourselves that if we keep pointing out others faults, we can continue to feel in control and good about ourselves.

For some, legalism is the key to control. If I work hard enough…run fast enough…perform well enough, I can earn my way to whatever kind of merit falls into my path.

Whatever the cause, each of us in one way or another, at some level, resists denying our own control, and letting God be God; resists letting ourselves be dependent.

I have a friend who lives with a medical condition that his doctor calls “Sudden Death Syndrome.” It is a congenital, degenerative heart condition, and at any given moment, his heart could stop. You’ve heard the occasional story of the athlete whose heart just stops while he runs on the basketball court, and who never knew he had the condition? This is the condition my friend has. He had a defibrillator surgically implanted in his heart. It constantly monitors his heart rate and if there is any irregularity it will deliver an electric shock to the heart in an attempt to return it to normal rhythm. He said that the most disconcerting moment of getting a defibrillator was not the surgery to implant it, it was after the surgery when he had to sign the “limited warranty” on the device.

The defibrillator is slightly smaller than the size of a deck of cards and is implanted just underneath the skin in his chest. He’s shown me the spot, and if you look closely from the right angle, you can actually just make out the shape of the rectangle underneath the skin.

My friend has an interesting “take” on his device. He says that every morning he will stand in front of the mirror while shaving or brushing his teeth. His eyes will be drawn to the small scar and the spot where the device is and he’ll see the rectangle. He told me that “This defibrillator is my daily reminder that I am not in charge. At any moment, something could happen that would take my life away from me, and I am totally in the hands of God. I am not in control. I am totally dependent. Totally dependent.”

My friends, we are all totally dependent on God. Completely. As a child is to a parent, we are all to God, our Father. It is God who gives life. It is God who gives the food we eat…the shelter in which we live…the people who love us…the very air that we breathe. It is by God’s grace that we live. Even when we turn to God when we are in need, the very fact that we can turn to God is a sign of our dependence on God.

And denial of this truth, our attempts at living without God, does not make it less true. Our lives are a gift, and we are dependent on the giver. And God continues to give.

God gives these gifts, His grace, with no strings attached. God gives freely and without reservation, out of a sense of love for us. God’s grace is given even when we are unaware of it. The gift is still given; and when we turn to God, and throw our arms into the air, saying “Abba…Father…Daddy” God’s arms are outstretched to welcome us into his grip. God’s love comes with an unlimited warranty.

God grips you in His grace and loves you unconditionally.

Always.

Amen.