CNN.com - Johnny Carson, late-night TV legend, dies at 79 - Jan 23, 2005

CNN.com - Johnny Carson, late-night TV legend, dies at 79 - Jan 23, 2005

The death of Johnny Carson really saddend me. I remember watching his show. And I think he reminds me a lot of my father, who watched Carson a lot and who had a very similar sense of humor.

Tomorrow...

Tomorrow I start a whole new adventure. CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education). A part of the preperation for ordination. It involves being placed at Mercy and Unity Hospitals and working (very part time) as a chaplain while processing the whole set of experiences in a small group. A big part of it is to "get into" and to process our own history and the baggage we carry into ministry that affects the way we do ministry.

It's going to be a challenge for a number of different reasons:

• It's going to be a very different kind of an experience for me.
• I generally resist processing things in small groups with people I don't know. (ironic, isn't it, since I'm blogging this).
• It's going to be a scheduling challenge.
• I'm probably going to have to deal with/face things that I'm not all that comfortable with. i.e. families under significant stress...people who are very sick...etc...

I am really hopeful for the things I am going to learn and experience. I had to identify professional and personal goals. Mine included:

• Becoming more comfortable around emotionally charged situations
• Establishing pastoral identity
• Increasing my skill set in pastoral counseling
• Developing cleaner boundaries between pastoral and other forms of counseling
• Opportunities to reflect theologically on people's stories and experiences.

Should be interesting...I will update.

Snow Rocks

Snow is cool.

Despite the inconvenience.

Snow is cool.

Plastic Surgery

I just looked up from my computer. On the TV, in the background there is a special running on people having plastic surgery.

Wow.

This is nuts.

What drives people to go to such extremes to change themselves? Why do we devalue ourselves this way? What is the difference between self-esteem and God esteem?

Theology of Trusteeship

I'm preparing tonight for a devotion I have to do in the morning. I just read a short piece by Leonard Sweet about "trusteeship."

We are all called to be trustees of different things. Lori and I are trustees of the lives, well-being and development of our two boys. I am the trustee of the congregational youth ministry at Lord of Life. I also trustee the ELCA Youth Ministry Network. I trustee my faith...my education...my vocation...my godchildren...

I am trying to retrain my perspective. Trusteeship has often been embodied in concepts of 'responsibility.' There certainly is accuracy in that. But even more, trusteeship is gift. If I move myself to a gift-focused mentality, I can recognize that as each of the things I am a trustee of are gifts, for that matter, trusteeship itself is a gift.

I'm wondering how this ties into my vocation. How do I trustee vocation? How do I be who God is calling me to be? Can I find/identify that person? If so, how do I live it out?

Just wondering...

One more thought...

I used to rail quite about about denominatinoal structures, our own in partular. However I have come to know the people who work in our office. They are good-hearted, people of faith who are really trying to do the right thing. They are pulled in 4 million different directions. But they do their best. I give them a lot of credit, and not nearly enough appreciation.

In Defense of Denominations

Lately I've heard a lot of criticism of denominational organizations. I've been thinking a lot about it. First a couple of pre-cursors:
1. They are human creations and are therefore imperfect.
2. They are works in progress.
3. Those who throw stones at them without trying to work to make them better don't have a lot of my respect.
4. They sometimes do dumb things.

All that being said, are they of value? Yes, I believe so.

They provide a theological reality check:
I am a Lutheran. That's not good nor bad...just the way it is. Are Lutherans right and others wrong? Of course not. It's a "style" of being and it's a set of theological premises that we hold to. But the important thing is that we HAVE something to hold on to. There are some foundational beliefs and our confessions guide us to them.

They provide identity:
I know where I stand because I am a Lutheran. Yes, there are many different kinds of Lutherans. But if you identify yourself as a Lutheran there are some fundamental assumptions I can make and be reasonably certain about because of this identity. The same is true for Methodists...Presbyterians...Baptists...even non-Denominational folks.

They provide community:
There is a sense of being able to gather around these common beliefs.

I understand where denominations get themselves into trouble. But I'm just saying...there is value there.

And it's not a matter of modern vs. post-modern...emergent vs. non-emergent...

One of the primary criticisms has been that the "systems" in place within denominations are by default SO corrupt that you cannot help but reject them. I don't think so. I think any organization that begins as a movement (denominations included) eventually move into an institutional mindset. They can't help it.

Even those who are "outside" of traditional (re: modern) systems are bound to turn institutional. Count on it.

So are denominations worth "salvaging?" I believe so. The good that happens outweighs the bad. Are there better ways to do some things? Yes. Are there agendas that pull it them in diffent directions, perhaps away from mission? Sure. But I believe that we can work within and fix the system.

Next: Are non-institutional faith movements valid and "worth it"?

Church of Fools: Enter church

Church of Fools: Enter church

You have to experience this to believe it...

Emergent Movement

Emergent Movement

An interesting article on the Emergent perspective from 180 degrees.

Thinking about vocation

I suspect that vocation is going to be an ongoing theme for me in the next year. I'm re-entering the ELCA's candidacy process. It's something of a pain.

But my goal is to enter into ordained ministry. It's taken me a long time, and a lot of thought, reflection and prayer to get to this point. I'm past the entrance stage and am moving ahead pretty quickly. If all goes well, all of my "work" will be complete at the end of May.

Why am I doing this? Good question. I am posting the text from my Entrance Essay below. Hopefully it will give a sense of what's going on in my mind and heart. Any comments/feedback/input is appreciated:

Todd E. Buegler, AIM
Lord of Life Lutheran Church, Maple Grove, Mn
Todd@LordofLife.org
Entrance Essay – Candidacy for Ordained Ministry


I am remarkably blessed and very thankful.

I have an amazing life. I have been happily married to Lori, an amazing woman, for almost ten years. I have two beautiful sons, Nathan (age 3 ½) and Samuel (20 months). These three people bring more joy to my life than I ever thought was possible. I have served as the Director of Youth and Family Ministries at Lord of Life Lutheran Church of Maple Grove for 18 years. This past spring at our graduation recognition, I was blessed to bring to the altar and to lead congregational prayer for young people, some of whom I have known since they were 1 year-old.

Since my call to Lord of Life, the congregation has grown from 1800 baptized members to a congregation of almost 7000 and has included 1 congregational building project and a complete relocation to a new campus. My role has changed from the “solo” staff person to overseeing a staff of six working with jr and sr high.

I am remarkably blessed and very thankful.

In the time I have been at Lord of Life, with their strong support I have received my M.A. Degree in Youth and Family Ministry at Luther Seminary, and have returned there as an adjunct instructor in the same field. I have been rostered as an Associate in Ministry, and have been a strong advocate for congregational lay ministry. I have been blessed to be a part of a team which has given shape to the ELCA Youth Ministry Network, an organization which helps provide education and support to over 1000 professionals and volunteers in youth and family ministry. For the last 5 years, I have served as president of that organization.

I am remarkably blessed and very thankful.

So it is with some surprise that I find myself drawn to a new call. For the last 2-3 years, I have had a nagging feeling of unrest in the back of my mind and heart. I love what I do. Yet, I have a feeling that my work is somehow incomplete, and I yearn for more. There are moments in my ministry where I have worked extensively with a group, or a mission trip team, or an individual, and then at a point of significance I have to “hand off” the work to someone else to complete. This has happened more frequently as the people with whom I have worked have grown up and married, had children, or as worship and the sacraments have become even more important in our ministry with youth and families. Because of the relationships that have developed, I have been asked to do both weddings and funerals for young people whose lives have intersected with mine. In the last few years I have come to grieve that I have not been able to fulfill these requests.

I have mixed feelings. I have been an advocate for laity in ministry and do not want to be perceived as changing my opinions. But for me personally, I have come to realize that God is calling me to a different form of ministry.

I come from a “church family.” My parents and my two brothers were firmly embedded in the community at Diamond Lake Lutheran Church even prior to baptism. We lived only 1 block from the church and we were the ones called whenever there was a need to set up tables or move chairs. My first lesson in stewardship came when my Mother told me that one of my chores was to mow the lawn of the parsonage, for free. While faith talk was never a part of our dinner conversation, we were all engaged in the faith. I knew that at one time my father had considered becoming a pastor. (Of course, he also considered trying to join the CIA. He settled for a career at 3M.) It was not a shock or a surprise that I announced my intention to become a pastor after graduating from Gustavus Adolphus College. Taking a position at Lord of Life as their first Director of Youth and Family Ministry was going to be a 2-3 year diversion before beginning my work towards an M.Div and pastoral ministry.
The surprise came instead when after 1 year of study at Luther Seminary I changed my mind. I wasn’t happy in the M.Div program and questioned my sense of call. I was happiest, and at my best when working with youth and families at Lord of Life. I realized that my sense of call to ordained ministry came as a result of expectations, not from God. God was not calling me to work as a pastor. Rather, my work in youth and family ministry was what fulfilled me, and was where I excelled. I transferred into the M.A. program in Youth and Family Ministry. It was the right decision. I have been richly blessed by that educational program.

My life now is very different than it was as a new college graduate. Socially, emotionally, financially and spiritually, I am stable and growing. I have continued my education, being accepted into Luther Seminary’s D.Min program in the fall of 2002. My education continues to challenge me, and in fact is one of the triggers for me reconsidering my sense of call now.

I have always visualized my sense of God’s call as a funnel. Wide at the beginning of the journey, with many different options, over time those other options (teaching, graduate school in history, social work) had dropped by the wayside and my journey narrowed until youth and family ministry became my only option, my only call. I believe that this analogy still holds true. It is not that I am reconsidering my call. Rather, the funnel, the journey, is taking a “turn” towards in a different direction.

Ocean's Eleven (2001)

Ocean's Eleven (2001)

A very fun movie. I wish Clooney did more stuff.

An Emerging What?

I've been doing some reading on the "Emerging Church" movement. Interesting stuff. How valid it is, I don't know. I am heartened by blogs by people like Doug Pagitt. I am somewhat troubled by blogs like that of Tony Jones.

The former is about dialog and respect. The latter seems about ranting and convincing.

I wonder how anyone can claim to be in a culture shaking movement while in the midst of that movement. The question is not so much "what do we think?" but rather "what will they think in 500 years when they look back?" At least with technology as it is, there will be a lot more primary source material for historians to evaluate.

Tensegrities

Tensegrities

I'm happy for the church

The ELCA released its draft statement on sexuality two days ago. It was published to great anticipation. I read it the day before it was released to the public. (Rostered staff got it 24 hours early.)

The night it was released I watched the report on the 10pm news. WCCO totally blew the coverage.

First of all, the Minneapolis Area Synod's Bishop's name is Craig Johnson, not Craig Robinson. (If you can't get at least that little part right, how do we trust any else of what you're going to say?)

They interviewed a member of Central Lutheran Church who is gay who claimed that this was a "sad" day for the church. They interviewed a member of the Word Alone Network, who claimed that this was a "sad" day for the church.

They didn't interview anyone who represented the 90% of people in the "middle" of the debate. Why not? Well, I suppose we're not as interesting. We are also the people with the questions, not the answers...not the emphatic emotion.

Lutherans are known for their wishy-washy answers...the middle ground... Certainly the draft on the sexuality statement fits us then. It is planted firmly in the middle. But it calls for unity. It calls for conversation. It calls for debate. It calls for respect. Shouldn't that be what we're about? To be honest, I'm not completely sure what I think yet. I understand the Biblical and confessional arguments. I understand the social justice arguments. I am conflicted.

So is my church.

The statement is a call to be conflicted together. Theology is messy and sometimes painful. It is muddy. Often though, the Holy Spirit works in the mess, the pain and the mud.

If anyone out there reads this, I'd love your help in working this out.

Let's try it

We're giving blogging a try. What do I want in this? I want a place to:

• Post thoughts before I forget them.
• Work out ideas and concepts, perhaps over time.
• Maybe have a place for people to read and respond.
• Have a little fun.
• Stay in touch.